I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
