i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
