It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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