Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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