Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
