Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
