have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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