ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There r osticjed everywhere
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
