But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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