your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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