Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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