You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize