I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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