I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
