Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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