had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
