PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
