You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
