If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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