Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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