maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
