We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
