Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I want to fling myself into the sun
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
