why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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