I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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