I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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