I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
we're so committed to being not committed
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
