I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
