She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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