But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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