Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
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