I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
