so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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