8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
