FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
