my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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