At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
