We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
