There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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