Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
