You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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