I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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