hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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