You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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