I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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