he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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