I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize