we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
