Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I need a beard to bite.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
