So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
