Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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