i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize