He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
