I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
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