so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
