I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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