so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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