its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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