return my video game
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
