God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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