he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
