one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
tell me about the eggs
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