Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
3 2 1 whiskey
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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