Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
