he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
