dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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