so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
