dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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