So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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