So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you inspire me to be a worse person
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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