he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
