Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
