Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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