can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
