So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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