so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
