We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
