Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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