I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
