you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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