Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
