my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
